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Thursday, February 26, 2009


1st day

Yesterday I told baby that I wun sms or call her until friday night, today is only the 1st day. But I can't help myself not to think of her. I really can't..even now I'm doing my community service, i'm thinking of u..today's mood was much better than ytd le..calm down abit and did some soul searching..

i realised that I really did alot of things that i shouldn't do to hurt her..i read thru her diary that she gave me for 1 yr anniversary and i felt how she felt..i started crying..

alot alot alot of things changed since i started my attachments..i spent lesser time with her..my mood turned bad, my love life got fucking screwed up by this FUCKING attachment! y?! how i wish this nvr happened at all..hais..

Everytime we quarrel, i'll use this reason "baby i'm very busy doing attachments, sorry if my mood isn't good"

that's all fucking BULL SHIT!

y dun i just tell her tat is cuz i got a FUCKING mood swing?!

FUCK U LI WEI! I HATE U!

my LOVE for YOU never FADES. This is for YOU My LOVE x33
10:54 AM


Self-Hating

LIM LI WEI! YOU THIS FUCKING IDIOT!
Y CAN'T U B MORE THAN WHAT U SAID?!
Y CAN'T U BLOODY CONTROL UR BLOODY TEMPER?!
Y?
WHY?
WHY?!
U SERIOUSLY DESERVE TO DIE U THIS SON OF A BITCH.
PS: BABY I'M TRUELY SORRY FOR WHAT I DID, PLS FORGET my mistakes & FORGIVE me.. I REALLY REALLY LOVE U ALOT..I REALLY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT U! PLS!..

my LOVE for YOU never FADES. This is for YOU My LOVE x33
10:44 AM


...

Yesterday night, baby pop the question. She said she can't take my nonsense anymore, she said she need some breathing space as well..therefore this happened..

It all happened during the afternoon, I was back from work feeling tired as I didn't really get alot of sleep due to my back-to-back schedule and thus I was easily agitated. I tried to control myself but I can't, I made some sound that baby dun like. she asked me to stop making it but i continued for no FUCKING reason!

Den..we quarrelled and the rest of it i guess it's obvious..hais..I tried to apologise to baby after i get some sleep but it doesn't seems to help..

LI WEI! WHY MUST U QUARREL AND MKE HER PISSED OFF?! U NOE IT VERY WELL THAT U LOVE HER ALOT! Y MUZ U GO AND DO THIS TO HER?! U ARE SUCH A FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!

right now at this point, I HATE MYSELF TO THE CORE!

How I wish I can just kill myself..

how can I ever let the girl of my dream, my love, my everything go like tat?

what happened to our promise?

I really love her alot..alot..

In my heart there's onli 1 name..Brenda Tan Hui Xuan..

I broke down to tears for 2hours and I was slapping, hitting myself..

why am i so stupid?

why can't i control my fucking temper?

I really regreted for what I did..

this blog will still be available, I'm going to keep it alive and let baby noe that I still love her as much as before..no matter what happens..

PS: baby, if u happen to see this blog, pls give me a chance, I really can't live without you. u are really my everything, i'm veri veri sorry for wad happened and i'm really really willing to change for the better for the sake of our relationship. pls.. all i need is a chance..I LOVE YOU ALWAYS..

my LOVE for YOU never FADES. This is for YOU My LOVE x33
10:26 AM